I woke up air-humping! What the heck was I dreamin about??? I don't remember, but I'ma hurry back to sleep & try to finish. ZZZzzzz
8:41am 7.1.2009
I think I wanna have a baby by Lil Wayne. I'm not attracted to 'em. I just want a reality show. What's his Twitter?
3:07pm 10.8.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23: I miss "morning sex".
11:12am 10.10.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 24: I'm feeling...Well today's the Sabbath so I prob'ly shouldn't say. But if you know me, u already kno!
10:32am 10.11.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 25: I love this cold cloudy romantic weather. It makes me wanna hump somethin'
11:30am 10.12.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 26: OMG Its raining SO hard now. I can't take it. The 1st dude 2 knock on my door b4 midnite wins a prize
1:39pm 10.13.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 29: Average men are beginning to look sexy to me...Tell Jared from "Subway" to call me!
1:53pm 10.16.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 29 (part 2): Jamie Foxx is n the bldg!!! Damn his arms are looking diesel! Jamies success is making me moist
6:47pm 10.16.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 30: These jeans make my butt look great, but I think they're giving me camel toe. Decisions, decisions
4:07pm 10.17.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 32: Its been over a month & still no penetration. I'm thinking about taking up horseback riding
12:13pm 10.19.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 35: Its 2:20am & the ratio in this music studio is 7 dudes to 1 me. Hope I make it to Day 36.
2:21am 10.23.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 38: I still keep shavin' my muff, juuuuust in case.
10:14am 10.26.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 39: Last night I slept naked w/ a caleb. Whew! Nice pkg! But I really just wanted to cuddle #DontJudgeMe
3:07pm 10.27.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 40: Yup, 40 days & 40 nights...I feel so Biblical! (Well, except for a lil dry humping here n there.)
8:27pm 10.28.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 46: I've been waking up @ the crack of dawn cuz they say "The early bird gets the worm"...(still nothing)
9:59am 11.3.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 48: #ItShouldBeIllegal for me to wear bras that make my boobs look this big. These titties are liars!
9:47am 11.5.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 50: I've spent the past 2 nites wrkng as a narrator 4 a new audio book called SEXUCATION (Very funny, God)
1:04am 11.7.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 51: I couldn't sleep well at all last nite. Before bed I watched sumthing really disturbing...Lamar & Khloe's wedding
10:00am 11.9.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 53: At least I won't have to worry about a pregnancy scare this month. Those used to be exciting.
2:51PM 11.10.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 55: This is some bullship! I might as well buy a twin bed :-/
11:22PM 11.12.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 56: A gentelmen is on his way to see me 2nite! Wish me luck. *crosses fingers...& legs*
11:11pm 11.13.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 57: My date last nite rubbed my feet while we watched Love Jones. He was a PERFECT gentleman! Booooo :(
12:02am 11.15.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 62: I miss So. Beach. My Miami dude sasys he's sending me an e-tkt. When do I tell him we ain't f*ckin?
9:01am 11.19.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 63: I just bought 7 pr. of thongs frm Vic Secrets. Now 2 find sum1 2 admire me n them *scrolls thru fone*
10:07pm 11.20.2009
#Fact - Ladies, there is no such thing as "period" panties! #imJustSaying
10:37pm 11.20.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 68: Its been over 2 months! Are my Tanjareen juices gonna dry up?
12:05pm 11.25.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: Ole Faithful came thru for the holiday & stuffed my turkey. (my bad) Gobble! Gobble!
4:50pm 11.30.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 0: Yaaaay! Backsliding's fun! Weeeeeeeeee!!!
3:11pm 12.1.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9: It rained super hard all week & not once did I slip & fall onto a penis #ProudMoments
12:43pm 12.14.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 16: This lack of sex has caused my skin to breakout. Perhaps I shuld invite sum1 ovr to give me a "facial"
3:09pm 12.21.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23: Ahh who am I kidding? @NickLarks was rite; I didn't make it past Day 16. I think 2day's jus Day 6 :-/
12.2009
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 2: (ooops) - Its Jan 1st! What should my New Years Resolution be?
7:26pm 1.1.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: I haven't had sex ALLLLL year! :^(
8:25pm 1.2.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 4: I woke up at 5am & still can't get back 2 sleep. What's better, YouPorn.com or RedTube.com?
6:36am 1.3.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 7: I was exposed 2 a cpl of chick's coochie lips n my pole dancing class #NotSureHow2EraseMyHardDrive
12:16pm 1.6.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 8: Its a new year so every1's cleansing. Therefore I'm doing a 100 day DICKtox!...(pray for me)
10:21am 1.7.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 10: My ex-weenie came by 2nite & I was such a good girl. Look! My panties are still on!
3:29am 1.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 12: Its fun watchn' dudes find excuses 2 qkly end our dates when they realize they really aint gettng nun
2:50pm 1.11.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 19: Whew! I was so horny last nite, I almost gave in 2 Mr. Wrong. Thank God 4 mobile phone porn!
8:29am 1.18.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23 of my 100 day DICKtox. Does cunnilingus count? Cuz umm...
9:24am 1.22.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 26: I hurt my spine pole dncng last nite. Its my fault 4 hoping sum1's "pole" would "blow my back out"
12:56pm 1.25.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 30: Ugh ohhh! This just opened by my hse & its calling my name...literally! (The Tangerine Hotel)
4:34pm 1.29.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 32: Can't believ I made it thru Grammy wkend w/ no dinga-ling. Superbowl Sun. & AllStar wknd here I cum!
2:35pm 2.1.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 38: I'm invited to 3 bday parties 2nite. 1 is an erotic RedLiteSpecialFreakEm party! I'm just gone look.
11:08pm 2.6.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 41: All this rain & hail is making me scroll thru my phone to call a nukkah I KNOW ain't sh*t! #ShameOnMe
12:08pm 2.9.2010
#4WordsAfterSex --> Sorry, I'm a squirter :-/
12:09pm 2.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 43: Its aftr midnite & there's a gentlemen cuming over. But don't worry; he PROMISED we won't do anything
12:37am 2.12.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 45: Happy Valentine's Day! I'm wearing a matching red thong & bra set today. Wish me luck :-P
1:16pm 2.14.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 46: So Ole Boy just HAPPENED 2 show up w/ his bro where my sis & I were last nite. SoWeAllMadeOut! #VDay4sums
7:42pm 2.15.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 50: Just got home & I hear my neighbor bangin' the ish outta his girl! Damn she loud...Aaargh! I must retaliate!!
6:57pm 2.19.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 55: My legs r closed bcuz my heart is closed :( Neither is healthy. Hopefully I can open them both soon
4:55pm 2.24.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 57: I stopped shaving last wk just 2 make sure I don't let any1 C it. (hope nun of my dudes like hairy muffs)
12:22pm 2.26.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 58: Its raining & hailing & I don't HAVE 2 go ANYWHERE 2day...I want some company. *grabs phone* :-/
2:09pm 2.27.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 62: I stopped letting dudes come see me late @ nite. Yaaay 4 me! (FeelingMyself...literally) :-/
10:21am 3.3.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 64: I haven;t heard from him since he saw me out last nite w/ the otha dude. Ask me if I care!...(I do)
10:49pm 3.5.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 66: So much 4 not letting dudes come see me late at nite. Its 3am & I'm headed to HIS hse (yikes)
2:54am 3.7.2010
He's seen my film "Love For Sale" 12 times & told me I was Oscar-worthy in "Miss March" #AndThenWeHadSex
7:05am 3.7.2010
Is it a sin to masturbate in church? (Not admiting anything, just askin')
11:24am 3.7.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 68: My ex is here to watch my DVR. He knows all my "spots". Plz dont let me b n my 1st trimester2moro
4:36pm 3.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 69: In honor of day "69", I felt it was only fair that I got some head. Ahhh. Thanx, homie. I owe ya. (#68)
10:04pm 3.10.2010
#WhyUrSingle -> Cuz u text unsolicited pix of ur cock 2 me & ur house is FILTHY n the background! (dirty crib=dirty d*ck) #BeatItSanfordNSon!
8:13am 3.11.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 70: Last time I made it to day 70, I got laid that nite. What r the odds that I'll last till day 100?
6:04pm 3.11.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 72: I miss doggy-style :-/
5:40pm 3.13.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 74: If 1 more cpl asks me 2 join em 4 a 3way, Ima do a reality show-"3sum Proposals:DontSqzeTheSquirter"
5:07pm 3.15.2010
Hey! This club has co-ed restrooms. They say you can tell the size of the D by the sound of the pee. I'ma hang out n here n listen :-P
11:50pm 3.15.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 79: Aaargh! I hate when the man n the porno can't stay hard! Dude if u're bored, so am I! #LearnANewTrade
6:42am 3.20.2010
#TanjareenTrivia -->I've been a vegan vegetarian since Aug2000. That means I don't eat ANY meat...unless it just got out the shower. #protein
6:24pm 3.20.2010
#ImTheKindOfPerson that will NEVER betray a man with good d*ck...ever!
6:27pm 3.20.2010
#ItsReallyAnnoying when the new dude expects u to stop sleeping with ur ex. Sorry hun, he knows my spots. #GuaranteedO
2:05am 3.24.2010
When the gynecologist pulls a condom outta ur snatch & u're not quite sure how long its been there. (ThatsNotMineDoc) #VeryBadSituation
2:10am 3.24.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 83: We thot a daytime date wuld be safe. I made lunch. He LUVED it & tipped me by putting his "tip" in
7:36pm 3.24.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 84: I say I'm on day 84, sum say I'm on day 1. "Potaydoe-Patatto" What's ur vote?
9:34pm 3.25.2010
is looking for a personal assistant this week. Am I wrong if I only interview MEN w/ nice abs & sexy lips? #DICKtation
9:52am 3.29.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 88: Eighty-eight...ATE-tee ATE...OK, its obvious what needs to happen tonight. ByeBye!
10:13pm 3.29.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 92: Only 8 days left of my 100day DICKtox! I'm so excited! MayB 2 excited. Can chix premature ejaculate?
12:06pm 4.2.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 96: Only 4days left & honestly I'm getting nervous. What if I 4got how 2 wiggle? Or shuld I just lay there?
9:03pm 4.6.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 98: Only 2 days left till the return of my Reverse Cowgirl. Yeee hawww!
7:15pm 4.8.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Its Day 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D
9:45am 4.10.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 107: I passd my goal yet still no male-induced orgasm. I kno skinny dudes b packn. @MarlonWayans whatup?
12:43pm 4.17.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 111: Remind me again why I shouldn't call my ex to have him cum over & dig me out?
7:49pm 4.21.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 112: My new dude is older & says he likes bushy muffs. I'm shaved. I don't kno if we'll make it #UneqallYoked
2:55pm 4.22.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day118: I'm tryn 2 let my muff hair grow 4 my new dude but this ishh is itching! HowDidYou1970sBushChxDoIt?
10:33am 4.28.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: Wow! That was over quik! I tried 2 warn him that I wasnt no joke. Says he got me nxt time tho. *SideEye*
2:43am 5.3.2010
#HowToMakeMeMad -> Force me to sleep in the wet spot. Nigga WE made this mess. Now scoot over!
2:00am 5.7.2010
#WhileImGettinHead -> I'm hoping he won't feel dumb after he reads about himself n my next "Celibate Nympho Chronicle". #YouLICKiTELL
11:02am 5.8.2010
#WhileImGettinHead -> I WELCOME his kisses cuz I kno we Vegans taste better. "Lemme taste me, baby." #MmmBananaPudding
11:10pm 5.8.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 10: I wanna have sex 2nite but ole boy is outta town. "Shuld I creep, wait, or masturbate?" (NewSongHook)
1:00am 5.11.2010
"I can do ALLL things thru Photoshop which strengthens me". #UglyGirlQuotes
6:12pm 5.11.2010
#InappropriateCrayonColors -> 'Celibate Nympho Balls Blue'
6:22pm 5.11.2010
#ImNotAFan of dudes who ask for head when they have nappy d*ck hairs. Call me when u lose the taco meat.
2:43am 5.16.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 18: My vagina just text msged my ex. I tried to stop her but she told me I be bullsh*ting 2 much w/ her.
5:09pm 5.19.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 19: My vagina was right; I do b bullsh*ting! I watched the game w/ my ex & then wouldn't even let him stay over
11:59pm 5.19.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 27: I'm having drinks w/ the grown ass bizness man I just met. He's cool but his fingers r short. *sigh*
5:38pm 5.26.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: "Burf-day sex! Burf-day sex!...Its the best day of the yeeear!"
11:27pm 6.1.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 7: One dude likes me V shaved, the other prefers it hairy. Decisions. Decisions. How 'bout a mohawk fade?
12:10am 6.8.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9: The nxt morning he "accidentally" used my toothbrush! He told me 2 relax cuz he'd had his mouth all ova me
12:00pm 6.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9b: Question- Do u monotonous...I mean monogomous couples share toothbrushes???
12:03pm 6.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: My "cat" had his tongue :-P
10:06am 6.15.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: If the Lakers lost gme 7 I would've been celibate for 7 months! Thnk u Lakers 4 this d*ck I'm bouta get
11:41pm 6.17.2010
HappyFathersDay to my dad, Big Worm! I luv u 4 marrying momz after u skeeted. Thanx 4 stickin arnd after u STUCK her! #ShotgunWedding
5:12pm 6.20.6.2010
HappyNOTFathersDay to all the dudes I've slept w/ that kno how to pull put! God bless u for not knoclin' me up!--THE CELIBATE NYMPHO
5:15pm 6.20.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 11: Its #BETawards weekend & I'd like to have sex. Some1 tell @LudaJuice to text me. #SplashWaterfals
8:40pm 6.26.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: Let's just say; #BETawards weekend was goooood to me! "Gucci!"
3:16am 7.2.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES- I almost had sex w/ a stranger n the back rm of a celeb bbq last nite. He changed clths n front of me. ShowOff!
5:41pm 7.5.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I've been a good girl all week. No oral, no humpin', no nothing! Boooooooo.
8:04pm 7.9.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I used 2 think old boy was always @ my hse cuz my nana was so good (& it is) but now I kno; thia ninjaz homeless!
11:18pm 7.10.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I just realized when I brush my teeth, I like to keep brushing my tongue till I gag. #Practice
8:25am 7.22.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Last I checked @TheRealTooShort was PACKIN' down there. I'm in the Bay Area all weekend. Wish me luck!
7:44pm 7.23.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Dang, I barely got to the first 3 min. of this porn...Mission Accomplished!...Nighty night.
12:46am 8.14.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I just did "the walk of shame". The real shame is that I didn't even get any weinee. He just held me :-/
10:27am 8.22.2010
"Pussy is a terrible thing to waste." THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES
10:21pm 9.7.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Mmmm. I love this cold, cloudy weather. Makes me wanna get dug out...(Too honest?)
11:03am 9.8.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I am officially in Heat! I'm trying to decide if I should make a weenie call, or HANDle this myself
11:12pm 9.11.2010
#AintNothingSexyAbout you snoring loud next to me after YOU got a nut & I DIDNT. Wake yo ass up & go home so I can get some1 else over here.
11:57pm 9.14.2010
#AintNothingSexyAbout a guy whose ass & titties are bigger than mine. Watch those carbs, homie.
12:27am 9.15.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I'm leaving a party n a tight lil dress. Wish I could take a stranger home like the white girls n the movies
2:20am 9.19.2010
If u CALL her & she TEXTS u back a picture of her gettin' eaten-out #SheDontReallyLikeYou
2:42am 9.22.2010
I think I'ma start giving SHORT dudes a chance. They're already n the rite spot to reach all my IMPORTANT parts. 5-footers, where u at?!
3:09pm 9.22.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: If any1 saw how slow & close @TonyTock & I were dancing 2nite, they'd kno why I'm gettn a pregnancy test 2moro
2:07am 9.23.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Listening to moans of ecstasy from the chick upstairs is giving me 'Blue Clit'.
1:03am 9.25.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I didn't have sex at all in September. I guess I'm accidentally celibate again. Day 35. Damn!
12:36am 10.1.2010
If I see my homeboy at Planned Parenthood & he's alone & won't look me in the eye, is it safe to say it burns when he pees?
12:00pm 10.4.2010
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 40: I tried to masturbate but fell asleep midway thru it. What an embarrassing position to wake up in
9:41am 10.6.2010