I woke up air-humping! What the heck was I dreamin about??? I don't remember, but I'ma hurry back to sleep & try to finish. ZZZzzzz
I think I wanna have a baby by Lil Wayne. I'm not attracted to 'em. I just want a reality show. What's his Twitter?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23: I miss "morning sex".
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 24: I'm feeling...Well today's the Sabbath so I prob'ly shouldn't say. But if you know me, u already kno!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 25: I love this cold cloudy romantic weather. It makes me wanna hump somethin'
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 26: OMG Its raining SO hard now. I can't take it. The 1st dude 2 knock on my door b4 midnite wins a prize
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 29: Average men are beginning to look sexy to me...Tell Jared from "Subway" to call me!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 29 (part 2): Jamie Foxx is n the bldg!!! Damn his arms are looking diesel! Jamies success is making me moist
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 30: These jeans make my butt look great, but I think they're giving me camel toe. Decisions, decisions
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 32: Its been over a month & still no penetration. I'm thinking about taking up horseback riding
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 35: Its 2:20am & the ratio in this music studio is 7 dudes to 1 me. Hope I make it to Day 36.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 38: I still keep shavin' my muff, juuuuust in case.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 39: Last night I slept naked w/ a caleb. Whew! Nice pkg! But I really just wanted to cuddle #DontJudgeMe
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 40: Yup, 40 days & 40 nights...I feel so Biblical! (Well, except for a lil dry humping here n there.)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 46: I've been waking up @ the crack of dawn cuz they say "The early bird gets the worm"...(still nothing)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 48: #ItShouldBeIllegal for me to wear bras that make my boobs look this big. These titties are liars!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 50: I've spent the past 2 nites wrkng as a narrator 4 a new audio book called SEXUCATION (Very funny, God)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 51: I couldn't sleep well at all last nite. Before bed I watched sumthing really disturbing...Lamar & Khloe's wedding
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 53: At least I won't have to worry about a pregnancy scare this month. Those used to be exciting.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 55: This is some bullship! I might as well buy a twin bed :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 56: A gentelmen is on his way to see me 2nite! Wish me luck. *crosses fingers...& legs*
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 57: My date last nite rubbed my feet while we watched Love Jones. He was a PERFECT gentleman! Booooo :(
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 62: I miss So. Beach. My Miami dude sasys he's sending me an e-tkt. When do I tell him we ain't f*ckin?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 63: I just bought 7 pr. of thongs frm Vic Secrets. Now 2 find sum1 2 admire me n them *scrolls thru fone*
#Fact - Ladies, there is no such thing as "period" panties! #imJustSaying
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 68: Its been over 2 months! Are my Tanjareen juices gonna dry up?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: Ole Faithful came thru for the holiday & stuffed my turkey. (my bad) Gobble! Gobble!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 0: Yaaaay! Backsliding's fun! Weeeeeeeeee!!!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9: It rained super hard all week & not once did I slip & fall onto a penis #ProudMoments
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 16: This lack of sex has caused my skin to breakout. Perhaps I shuld invite sum1 ovr to give me a "facial"
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23: Ahh who am I kidding? @NickLarks was rite; I didn't make it past Day 16. I think 2day's jus Day 6 :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 2: (ooops) - Its Jan 1st! What should my New Years Resolution be?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: I haven't had sex ALLLLL year! :^(
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 4: I woke up at 5am & still can't get back 2 sleep. What's better, YouPorn.com or RedTube.com?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 7: I was exposed 2 a cpl of chick's coochie lips n my pole dancing class #NotSureHow2EraseMyHardDrive
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 8: Its a new year so every1's cleansing. Therefore I'm doing a 100 day DICKtox!...(pray for me)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 10: My ex-weenie came by 2nite & I was such a good girl. Look! My panties are still on!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 12: Its fun watchn' dudes find excuses 2 qkly end our dates when they realize they really aint gettng nun
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 19: Whew! I was so horny last nite, I almost gave in 2 Mr. Wrong. Thank God 4 mobile phone porn!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 23 of my 100 day DICKtox. Does cunnilingus count? Cuz umm...
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 26: I hurt my spine pole dncng last nite. Its my fault 4 hoping sum1's "pole" would "blow my back out"
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 30: Ugh ohhh! This just opened by my hse & its calling my name...literally! (The Tangerine Hotel)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 32: Can't believ I made it thru Grammy wkend w/ no dinga-ling. Superbowl Sun. & AllStar wknd here I cum!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 38: I'm invited to 3 bday parties 2nite. 1 is an erotic RedLiteSpecialFreakEm party! I'm just gone look.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 41: All this rain & hail is making me scroll thru my phone to call a nukkah I KNOW ain't sh*t! #ShameOnMe
#4WordsAfterSex --> Sorry, I'm a squirter :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 43: Its aftr midnite & there's a gentlemen cuming over. But don't worry; he PROMISED we won't do anything
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 45: Happy Valentine's Day! I'm wearing a matching red thong & bra set today. Wish me luck :-P
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 46: So Ole Boy just HAPPENED 2 show up w/ his bro where my sis & I were last nite. SoWeAllMadeOut! #VDay4sums
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 50: Just got home & I hear my neighbor bangin' the ish outta his girl! Damn she loud...Aaargh! I must retaliate!!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 55: My legs r closed bcuz my heart is closed :( Neither is healthy. Hopefully I can open them both soon
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 57: I stopped shaving last wk just 2 make sure I don't let any1 C it. (hope nun of my dudes like hairy muffs)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 58: Its raining & hailing & I don't HAVE 2 go ANYWHERE 2day...I want some company. *grabs phone* :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 62: I stopped letting dudes come see me late @ nite. Yaaay 4 me! (FeelingMyself...literally) :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 64: I haven;t heard from him since he saw me out last nite w/ the otha dude. Ask me if I care!...(I do)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 66: So much 4 not letting dudes come see me late at nite. Its 3am & I'm headed to HIS hse (yikes)
He's seen my film "Love For Sale" 12 times & told me I was Oscar-worthy in "Miss March" #AndThenWeHadSex
Is it a sin to masturbate in church? (Not admiting anything, just askin')
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 68: My ex is here to watch my DVR. He knows all my "spots". Plz dont let me b n my 1st trimester2moro
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 69: In honor of day "69", I felt it was only fair that I got some head. Ahhh. Thanx, homie. I owe ya. (#68)
#WhyUrSingle -> Cuz u text unsolicited pix of ur cock 2 me & ur house is FILTHY n the background! (dirty crib=dirty d*ck) #BeatItSanfordNSon!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 70: Last time I made it to day 70, I got laid that nite. What r the odds that I'll last till day 100?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 72: I miss doggy-style :-/
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 74: If 1 more cpl asks me 2 join em 4 a 3way, Ima do a reality show-"3sum Proposals:DontSqzeTheSquirter"
Hey! This club has co-ed restrooms. They say you can tell the size of the D by the sound of the pee. I'ma hang out n here n listen :-P
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 79: Aaargh! I hate when the man n the porno can't stay hard! Dude if u're bored, so am I! #LearnANewTrade
#TanjareenTrivia -->I've been a vegan vegetarian since Aug2000. That means I don't eat ANY meat...unless it just got out the shower. #protein
#ImTheKindOfPerson that will NEVER betray a man with good d*ck...ever!
#ItsReallyAnnoying when the new dude expects u to stop sleeping with ur ex. Sorry hun, he knows my spots. #GuaranteedO
When the gynecologist pulls a condom outta ur snatch & u're not quite sure how long its been there. (ThatsNotMineDoc) #VeryBadSituation
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 83: We thot a daytime date wuld be safe. I made lunch. He LUVED it & tipped me by putting his "tip" in
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 84: I say I'm on day 84, sum say I'm on day 1. "Potaydoe-Patatto" What's ur vote?
is looking for a personal assistant this week. Am I wrong if I only interview MEN w/ nice abs & sexy lips? #DICKtation
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 88: Eighty-eight...ATE-tee ATE...OK, its obvious what needs to happen tonight. ByeBye!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 92: Only 8 days left of my 100day DICKtox! I'm so excited! MayB 2 excited. Can chix premature ejaculate?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 96: Only 4days left & honestly I'm getting nervous. What if I 4got how 2 wiggle? Or shuld I just lay there?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 98: Only 2 days left till the return of my Reverse Cowgirl. Yeee hawww!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Its Day 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 107: I passd my goal yet still no male-induced orgasm. I kno skinny dudes b packn. @MarlonWayans whatup?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 111: Remind me again why I shouldn't call my ex to have him cum over & dig me out?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 112: My new dude is older & says he likes bushy muffs. I'm shaved. I don't kno if we'll make it #UneqallYoked
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day118: I'm tryn 2 let my muff hair grow 4 my new dude but this ishh is itching! HowDidYou1970sBushChxDoIt?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: Wow! That was over quik! I tried 2 warn him that I wasnt no joke. Says he got me nxt time tho. *SideEye*
#HowToMakeMeMad -> Force me to sleep in the wet spot. Nigga WE made this mess. Now scoot over!
#WhileImGettinHead -> I'm hoping he won't feel dumb after he reads about himself n my next "Celibate Nympho Chronicle". #YouLICKiTELL
#WhileImGettinHead -> I WELCOME his kisses cuz I kno we Vegans taste better. "Lemme taste me, baby." #MmmBananaPudding
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 10: I wanna have sex 2nite but ole boy is outta town. "Shuld I creep, wait, or masturbate?" (NewSongHook)
"I can do ALLL things thru Photoshop which strengthens me". #UglyGirlQuotes
#InappropriateCrayonColors -> 'Celibate Nympho Balls Blue'
#ImNotAFan of dudes who ask for head when they have nappy d*ck hairs. Call me when u lose the taco meat.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 18: My vagina just text msged my ex. I tried to stop her but she told me I be bullsh*ting 2 much w/ her.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 19: My vagina was right; I do b bullsh*ting! I watched the game w/ my ex & then wouldn't even let him stay over
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 27: I'm having drinks w/ the grown ass bizness man I just met. He's cool but his fingers r short. *sigh*
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: "Burf-day sex! Burf-day sex!...Its the best day of the yeeear!"
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 7: One dude likes me V shaved, the other prefers it hairy. Decisions. Decisions. How 'bout a mohawk fade?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9: The nxt morning he "accidentally" used my toothbrush! He told me 2 relax cuz he'd had his mouth all ova me
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 9b: Question- Do u monotonous...I mean monogomous couples share toothbrushes???
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 1: My "cat" had his tongue :-P
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: If the Lakers lost gme 7 I would've been celibate for 7 months! Thnk u Lakers 4 this d*ck I'm bouta get
HappyFathersDay to my dad, Big Worm! I luv u 4 marrying momz after u skeeted. Thanx 4 stickin arnd after u STUCK her! #ShotgunWedding
HappyNOTFathersDay to all the dudes I've slept w/ that kno how to pull put! God bless u for not knoclin' me up!--THE CELIBATE NYMPHO
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 11: Its #BETawards weekend & I'd like to have sex. Some1 tell @LudaJuice to text me. #SplashWaterfals
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 3: Let's just say; #BETawards weekend was goooood to me! "Gucci!"
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES- I almost had sex w/ a stranger n the back rm of a celeb bbq last nite. He changed clths n front of me. ShowOff!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I've been a good girl all week. No oral, no humpin', no nothing! Boooooooo.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I used 2 think old boy was always @ my hse cuz my nana was so good (& it is) but now I kno; thia ninjaz homeless!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I just realized when I brush my teeth, I like to keep brushing my tongue till I gag. #Practice
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Last I checked @TheRealTooShort was PACKIN' down there. I'm in the Bay Area all weekend. Wish me luck!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Dang, I barely got to the first 3 min. of this porn...Mission Accomplished!...Nighty night.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I just did "the walk of shame". The real shame is that I didn't even get any weinee. He just held me :-/
"Pussy is a terrible thing to waste." THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Mmmm. I love this cold, cloudy weather. Makes me wanna get dug out...(Too honest?)
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I am officially in Heat! I'm trying to decide if I should make a weenie call, or HANDle this myself
#AintNothingSexyAbout you snoring loud next to me after YOU got a nut & I DIDNT. Wake yo ass up & go home so I can get some1 else over here.
#AintNothingSexyAbout a guy whose ass & titties are bigger than mine. Watch those carbs, homie.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-I'm leaving a party n a tight lil dress. Wish I could take a stranger home like the white girls n the movies
If u CALL her & she TEXTS u back a picture of her gettin' eaten-out #SheDontReallyLikeYou
I think I'ma start giving SHORT dudes a chance. They're already n the rite spot to reach all my IMPORTANT parts. 5-footers, where u at?!
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: If any1 saw how slow & close @TonyTock & I were dancing 2nite, they'd kno why I'm gettn a pregnancy test 2moro
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: Listening to moans of ecstasy from the chick upstairs is giving me 'Blue Clit'.
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES: I didn't have sex at all in September. I guess I'm accidentally celibate again. Day 35. Damn!
If I see my homeboy at Planned Parenthood & he's alone & won't look me in the eye, is it safe to say it burns when he pees?
THE CELIBATE NYMPHO CHRONICLES-Day 40: I tried to masturbate but fell asleep midway thru it. What an embarrassing position to wake up in